I have been out of touch.

I have been out of touch. I feel out of touch. Out of touch with an innocence, out of touch with a sense of ownership I had of the world around me, and a feeling of pride I used to have. I donot however feel out of touch with myself.

The discord is with time. I wish someone could tell me how long it'll last. But would I accept what that someone is telling? And would it be the same as discovering? The questions have changed. I know who I am. Now I want to know What I am capable of doing? What can I do a few weeks, months or years from now. I will only know if I keep walking.

I'm discovering along the way that there is absolutely nobody in this world without insecurities. That everyone has something or the other they worry about. A rule with no exceptions. Its the biggest challenge life poses. To be objective.

Not just insecurity, but even indecision gets to you. Infact, honestly, I feel that I've degenerated after college. The vibrance has gone, I've become more grumpy. Even the pathetic SJs arent that quick, damnit! I can however laugh at myself a lot more, now. Its got something to do with the new environment, which I need to accept and adjust to. But that doesnt come that easily to me, or maybe I just dont want to?

I wonder at times how long I'll be able to keep in touch with those I really want to from college! I feel a tinge of disappointment when someone says they dont have the time to talk, or meet up, or forget to return a call. I refuse to buy the argument that there is no time.

I am also realising that there is a lot of happiness to be found in conviction. Convince yourself of what you want to do, and then have the balls to do it. Sometimes the experience is in just taking the step. It is much easier said than done, I know. But I hope I can do it with everything I do. It all comes back to TIME.
There'll be times where you're absolutely convinced about something and act on it, but it wont happen simply because every action has an initiator and a responder, but theres a beauty to that also. Conviction teaches you patience.

The storm in my head has made sure I have become a complete slave to music. It gives me a sense of reassurance. It kicks me. It makes sure I keep walking. It is an ally to my conviction.

Unreal perhaps, how time flies. It is not without reason that I bow down to it as my only god. Time. It is a beautiful teacher. The best you'll ever find.

So much

So much to write.. From the beauty of Assam, to the tea gardens, to our guest house, to mohan ki behen, to the days we've spent here, and the stories we've heard. The games we've played, and the games I've caught - Hamilton's amazing amazing championship victory :D :D Saurav's retirement :'( :'( Kaziranga. The rhinos and deers, the million varieties of birds, and butterflies. Brahmaputra, one of the best waterbodies I've seen - (A forest 10 metres behind, a 400 metre wide mighty river ahead, and the snowpeaks of Himalyas on the horizon..) The HUL factory itself! Its an experience! So much to write on. But no time :(
..And partially no will to type after having the laptop at your face all the time at work.
Its not all hunky dory, buggers!

The tail never straightens, does it?

This one is just a long rant about how, after years, Massa and Ferrari again showed how well and truly they are the sore'est team in Formula One..

This one actually goes back to the 2001, when I had just started watching Formula One. I had no particular loyalties at that point of time. I used to enjoy seeing both Hakinnen and Schumacher drive. But come Austria 2001, and Ferrari giving team orders to Barrichello to slow down on the last lap to let Schumacher win, and I knew which team I could never support.

Come 2008 and Shanghai, and it was deja vu as Ferrari showed yet again how un-sportsmanlike they are. Actually it has come to a point where I actually feel pity for Massa. He's begged for points all season. As it is FIA has left no stone unturned to try and assist Massa's and Ferrari's cause. And its supposed to be a neutral governing body (GAH!). If that was not enough, he had to beg his own team-mate to help him. I mean, (suppose) if Massa does go on to win the championship in Brazil also, will he ever even be able to consider the championship his? Its a sport goddamnit, and a sport is fought man to man.

Hamilton has in recent times drawn a lot of flak for being an over aggresive racing driver. He IS one! But thats what he's been trained all his life to be - A flat out racing driver..! Not to beg! Come the final race, and let all the F's behind Hamilton - from Ferrari, to Flavio Briatore, to Fernando Alonso, to Felipe Massa, and to the FIA be answered. Once and for all.

And I leave you with a part of the transcript from the post race interview. The comment is actually much more hilarious seen, but still..

Q: And your pass on Kimi towards the end?
FM: Well, it was the best time for me in the race, I was quite strong and then I caught him and (long pause..) I passed him, so that was the good part of the race. But anyway it was not enough as we are fighting with the McLaren's and today at least one was in front but we could manage to finish second or third.

Go.Kick.Ass. Lewis Hamilton

On the eve of what is the deciding race weekend of the season. I just want Hamilton to kick such royal ass, that come Marshalls, come Ferrari, come FIA, and goddamnit come Fernando Alonso..! He should just answer all on track man.. Just do it bugger.. Just do it!!
Come on Hammy. For Ron Dennis. For McLaren.
McLaren Forever!!

The aliens are coming!!

Aliens to land on earth today reports ibnlive.com..
Apparently, the American psychic got an intuition that they are coming in a huge intergalactic spaceship that will appear over the American desert. If only she could've foreseen the huge spaceship that came and hit Wall Street..!

Next, she claims, they "come in love to help us and our planet move to a new higher vibration of love". I don't even want to know what the 'higher vibrations of love' means..

The most hilarious part of the whole incident however, remains that the rumours have promoted an unprecedented gambling rush in America. Now lets get this in perspective. The Americans have been hit by a financial crisis so severe, many families and banks have gone bankrupt. There is little certainity about their future..! And YET they choose to bet their money (whatever little they have left) on a prediction by some psychic called Blossom Goodchild. Good child! The American Idiot(s)?

Oh n if you do get abducted by Goodchilds aliens, this one's for you..

Out of the blue!

Allow me to introduce you to something extremely interesting started by one of my most kickass friends, Chirag Patel and his partner in crime, Jay Dedhiya!

http://clueblues.com

A very interesting game! Play on! You'll love it.

As I type, I'm on level 7 with a 'little' assistance from CP :)

@ CP: Rock on, Bete...!! God hai yaar, tu! ;)

The week that was

1. Mamata Banerjee, thanks to Ratan Tata's masterstroke, has been bought to a crossroad where every step she takes will draw her only flak. If she backs down, they'll criticize her for not standing for her beliefs. If she doesn't, they'll blame her of being too rigid. I am not too envious of her position right now.

2. Andrew Symonds has been sent back to Australia from a tour for disciplinarian reasons. Monkey face ha.ha.ha Monkey face ha.ha.ha. (Yes, go ahead. Discipline me.)

3. Who-so-ever advised/ approved/ decided/ agreeed for the price of the iPhone 3G (umm.. 30G?) to be Rs. 31,000 and Rs. 36,000 must be the biggest group of dimwits in India. What on earth were those buggers doing when they were teaching demand-supply back in FYJC Economics man? Or are their types the result of taking engineering background students for MBAs? I mean Vodafone and Airtel are gonna fall flat on their face. You get the same shit for 9 grand abroad. Import it from there, and you'll get four for the same cost. Papa, Mumma, Chunnu, Munnu. Sab ke liye ek!

4. Is it just funny that after so much maggajmari over the nuclear deal, its in jeopardy, again, thanks to some leaked documents?.


P.S: The gray market cost of the iPhone in Bombay is 20 grand ;)

P.P.S: I mean come on guys, when you have Himesh Reshammiya crooning "Hurry Home.. Hurry Home.. Hurry Home Home... Hurry Home. Hurry Home. Hurry Home.." at the top of that nasal voice of his, how much more honest do you want him to be?

P.P.P.S: Monkey face ha.ha.ha! :p