That was a lousy lob!

Jarnail Singhs lob was so lousy man! Has he never played cricket in his life? Sheh. He needs to learn. Did he not see the Iraqi journalist hurling the shoe at Bush. Now THAT was a throw (two infact!)!

I think all journalism institutes must now have a mandatory session on shoe-throwing included in their course.

What happens when a country crumbles?

People can crumble, go bankrupt. Companies can crumble, go bankrupt. But I actually wonder what happens when a country crumbles? With a government that hardly seems to be able to govern anything*, with the terrorists shooting their KPIs in no uncertain terms, and with blasting success, and with the economic, social, and political pressures it is facing, where is the country heading?

* Opinion based on what I read in papers/ see in news. Ground reality may differ.

How to know you have white enough teeth

While shaving, when the lather has built up, just flash the '32' smile looking at the mirror. If you arent taken aback by what you see, you're doing just about fine :D

Home alone

Staying at home alone, for more than a month, comes with its share of madness, fun, boredom at times, and well goof-ups :p

Now I mean yes, I am pretty good when it comes to doing the household chores. (ahem ahem) But every now and then, everybody is allowed a slip, right?
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When I had arrived from Kolkata, I had about 6 sets of clothes properly washed and ironed with me. So that lasted me a full week, and the Monday of the next week. On Monday evening though, when I returned home, I realized that I didn’t have a fresh pair of clothes to wear, and the prospect of going to office in a sweaty worn shirt and trouser wasn’t particularly enticing. Now I had dinner plans set, and was ready and getting late for that. I needed to put my clothes to wash, so that they can be put to dry by night, and I needed to rush. So, the following sequence followed

· Pick up clothes from following locations: bed1 (my room), bed2 (moms room), floor (only my room), bathroom (on the hooks, sink and floor), and drawing room sofa.
· Shove them into the washing machine
· Switch on the washing machine
· Start washing cycle
· Wear shoes
· Leave.

Now when I reach home, and open the washing machine, a very weird smell greets me. Nothing pungent, Not something that can be classified as a stink. Just a very weird smell. It wasn’t leftover food/chocolate in trouser pockets, it wasn’t some piece of junk gone in with the laundry. It wasn’t anything that had gone wrongly with the laundry. I went through the above mentioned sequence in my mind, and wondered what went wrong.

Any guesses?
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Sunday morning, bordering on afternoon. I’m preparing myself breakfast. The bell rings. Its some bill collection chap. I go fetch my wallet, pay him the bill, and then go back to the kitchen. The coffee water is boiling, and it needs milk. I go to the fridge, open it, take out the doodh ka tasla, and pour milk into the coffee.

The coffee is done, the toast is made. After a decent breakfast, I must now head to grocery store to buy some daily needs.

Have a bath. Change into jeans and shirt.
· iPhone- check
· Handkerchief- check
· Headphones- check
· Wallet- Where’s the wallet, now. I had kept it on the table only yesterday night. Search room, search trouser pockets. sofa crevice. drawers. bag. moms room. recheck all of the above. Nowhere to be found. Damnit! Cheh. Where did I keep it..! Get frustrated, go for drink of water, open fridge. And there, sitting beautifully on the egg-tray, my wallet. Served chilled :D
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Another morning.

· Awesome coffee on the gas burner.
· Watching Australian GP on TV in drawing room.
· Get call
· Go to other room.
· Call goes on for 20 minutes.
· Post call, return to drawing room.
· Smell something burning.
· Remember there was coffee on the burner
· It is not there anymore.
· There is something that resembles a thin layer of charcoal instead
· And the pan. Lets just say it has a new color :p
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Situation 1 strikes again.

Night before office realise that I have shirt to wear to office, but no trousers or fresh set of undergarments. So put clothes to wash. No problems with the washing this time around. Leave them to dry, so that they can be worn in the morning.

Morning, I realize they haven’t yet dried fully. Need a quick fix. Switch on the iron. Iron the trouser. *Aah. Nice crease. Neat pleats* Next is the vest, neatly ironed and kept *Aah. Two done. One to go* Now comes the turn of the trunks. I start ironing. *Yes, its drying. Good* *Ok what is this smoke I see coming out. What is zees???* Switch off iron in damage control. Look at trunk. Look at iron. Turn iron around. See iron plate *Yikes*

Apparently, you aren’t supposed to iron on elastic. Nobody had told me that!, or well, I hadn’t asked anybody. So now the trunk ka elastic has somewhat disintegrated, and the iron plate is now branded JOCKEY! :p

Such are the joys :)

Update:

1. The iron is not working anymore. I dont know how that happened. I swear! It was working for atleast 3 days after above mentioned incident!

2. After 5 rounds of washing with liberal usage of dishwashing liquids, and boiling water, the pan is now closer to usable condition. Not yet there, but close.

3. Most important update of them all ..

*Drumrolls*

Mom. Is. Back!! :) Woothehoo!

...

Whenever I browse through 'The Fountainhead', the thought always crosses my mind. How many people must have ruined their lives thinking they are Howard Roark. How many people would've thought they have the same conviction, the same headstrong'ness, the same mindset, and how many continue to think so..

Another one..

"Those who are swept off their feet in love fall flat on their face." :p

Yes/no? I dont know.

Thought for the day

"One mans idealism, another mans idiocy" :)

I have been out of touch.

I have been out of touch. I feel out of touch. Out of touch with an innocence, out of touch with a sense of ownership I had of the world around me, and a feeling of pride I used to have. I donot however feel out of touch with myself.

The discord is with time. I wish someone could tell me how long it'll last. But would I accept what that someone is telling? And would it be the same as discovering? The questions have changed. I know who I am. Now I want to know What I am capable of doing? What can I do a few weeks, months or years from now. I will only know if I keep walking.

I'm discovering along the way that there is absolutely nobody in this world without insecurities. That everyone has something or the other they worry about. A rule with no exceptions. Its the biggest challenge life poses. To be objective.

Not just insecurity, but even indecision gets to you. Infact, honestly, I feel that I've degenerated after college. The vibrance has gone, I've become more grumpy. Even the pathetic SJs arent that quick, damnit! I can however laugh at myself a lot more, now. Its got something to do with the new environment, which I need to accept and adjust to. But that doesnt come that easily to me, or maybe I just dont want to?

I wonder at times how long I'll be able to keep in touch with those I really want to from college! I feel a tinge of disappointment when someone says they dont have the time to talk, or meet up, or forget to return a call. I refuse to buy the argument that there is no time.

I am also realising that there is a lot of happiness to be found in conviction. Convince yourself of what you want to do, and then have the balls to do it. Sometimes the experience is in just taking the step. It is much easier said than done, I know. But I hope I can do it with everything I do. It all comes back to TIME.
There'll be times where you're absolutely convinced about something and act on it, but it wont happen simply because every action has an initiator and a responder, but theres a beauty to that also. Conviction teaches you patience.

The storm in my head has made sure I have become a complete slave to music. It gives me a sense of reassurance. It kicks me. It makes sure I keep walking. It is an ally to my conviction.

Unreal perhaps, how time flies. It is not without reason that I bow down to it as my only god. Time. It is a beautiful teacher. The best you'll ever find.

So much

So much to write.. From the beauty of Assam, to the tea gardens, to our guest house, to mohan ki behen, to the days we've spent here, and the stories we've heard. The games we've played, and the games I've caught - Hamilton's amazing amazing championship victory :D :D Saurav's retirement :'( :'( Kaziranga. The rhinos and deers, the million varieties of birds, and butterflies. Brahmaputra, one of the best waterbodies I've seen - (A forest 10 metres behind, a 400 metre wide mighty river ahead, and the snowpeaks of Himalyas on the horizon..) The HUL factory itself! Its an experience! So much to write on. But no time :(
..And partially no will to type after having the laptop at your face all the time at work.
Its not all hunky dory, buggers!

The tail never straightens, does it?

This one is just a long rant about how, after years, Massa and Ferrari again showed how well and truly they are the sore'est team in Formula One..

This one actually goes back to the 2001, when I had just started watching Formula One. I had no particular loyalties at that point of time. I used to enjoy seeing both Hakinnen and Schumacher drive. But come Austria 2001, and Ferrari giving team orders to Barrichello to slow down on the last lap to let Schumacher win, and I knew which team I could never support.

Come 2008 and Shanghai, and it was deja vu as Ferrari showed yet again how un-sportsmanlike they are. Actually it has come to a point where I actually feel pity for Massa. He's begged for points all season. As it is FIA has left no stone unturned to try and assist Massa's and Ferrari's cause. And its supposed to be a neutral governing body (GAH!). If that was not enough, he had to beg his own team-mate to help him. I mean, (suppose) if Massa does go on to win the championship in Brazil also, will he ever even be able to consider the championship his? Its a sport goddamnit, and a sport is fought man to man.

Hamilton has in recent times drawn a lot of flak for being an over aggresive racing driver. He IS one! But thats what he's been trained all his life to be - A flat out racing driver..! Not to beg! Come the final race, and let all the F's behind Hamilton - from Ferrari, to Flavio Briatore, to Fernando Alonso, to Felipe Massa, and to the FIA be answered. Once and for all.

And I leave you with a part of the transcript from the post race interview. The comment is actually much more hilarious seen, but still..

Q: And your pass on Kimi towards the end?
FM: Well, it was the best time for me in the race, I was quite strong and then I caught him and (long pause..) I passed him, so that was the good part of the race. But anyway it was not enough as we are fighting with the McLaren's and today at least one was in front but we could manage to finish second or third.

Go.Kick.Ass. Lewis Hamilton

On the eve of what is the deciding race weekend of the season. I just want Hamilton to kick such royal ass, that come Marshalls, come Ferrari, come FIA, and goddamnit come Fernando Alonso..! He should just answer all on track man.. Just do it bugger.. Just do it!!
Come on Hammy. For Ron Dennis. For McLaren.
McLaren Forever!!

The aliens are coming!!

Aliens to land on earth today reports ibnlive.com..
Apparently, the American psychic got an intuition that they are coming in a huge intergalactic spaceship that will appear over the American desert. If only she could've foreseen the huge spaceship that came and hit Wall Street..!

Next, she claims, they "come in love to help us and our planet move to a new higher vibration of love". I don't even want to know what the 'higher vibrations of love' means..

The most hilarious part of the whole incident however, remains that the rumours have promoted an unprecedented gambling rush in America. Now lets get this in perspective. The Americans have been hit by a financial crisis so severe, many families and banks have gone bankrupt. There is little certainity about their future..! And YET they choose to bet their money (whatever little they have left) on a prediction by some psychic called Blossom Goodchild. Good child! The American Idiot(s)?

Oh n if you do get abducted by Goodchilds aliens, this one's for you..

Out of the blue!

Allow me to introduce you to something extremely interesting started by one of my most kickass friends, Chirag Patel and his partner in crime, Jay Dedhiya!

http://clueblues.com

A very interesting game! Play on! You'll love it.

As I type, I'm on level 7 with a 'little' assistance from CP :)

@ CP: Rock on, Bete...!! God hai yaar, tu! ;)

The week that was

1. Mamata Banerjee, thanks to Ratan Tata's masterstroke, has been bought to a crossroad where every step she takes will draw her only flak. If she backs down, they'll criticize her for not standing for her beliefs. If she doesn't, they'll blame her of being too rigid. I am not too envious of her position right now.

2. Andrew Symonds has been sent back to Australia from a tour for disciplinarian reasons. Monkey face ha.ha.ha Monkey face ha.ha.ha. (Yes, go ahead. Discipline me.)

3. Who-so-ever advised/ approved/ decided/ agreeed for the price of the iPhone 3G (umm.. 30G?) to be Rs. 31,000 and Rs. 36,000 must be the biggest group of dimwits in India. What on earth were those buggers doing when they were teaching demand-supply back in FYJC Economics man? Or are their types the result of taking engineering background students for MBAs? I mean Vodafone and Airtel are gonna fall flat on their face. You get the same shit for 9 grand abroad. Import it from there, and you'll get four for the same cost. Papa, Mumma, Chunnu, Munnu. Sab ke liye ek!

4. Is it just funny that after so much maggajmari over the nuclear deal, its in jeopardy, again, thanks to some leaked documents?.


P.S: The gray market cost of the iPhone in Bombay is 20 grand ;)

P.P.S: I mean come on guys, when you have Himesh Reshammiya crooning "Hurry Home.. Hurry Home.. Hurry Home Home... Hurry Home. Hurry Home. Hurry Home.." at the top of that nasal voice of his, how much more honest do you want him to be?

P.P.P.S: Monkey face ha.ha.ha! :p

25,00,000 lakhs anyone?

Now thats called getting your target audience horribly wrong!

Bombaychi Local

Having now almost become a seasoned traveller in the 'Churchgate local', I feel that introducing a few changes into the system can go a long way in reducing the sheer crowds.

The slow trains are absolutely fine.
1. Introduce direct non stop Borivali to Churchgate and Vasai to Churchgate trains in the morning, and vice versa in the evening.
2. The fast trains can stop at alternative stations. Say if one stops Bombay Central - Dadar - Andheri, another can stop Mahalaxmi - Matunga Road - Khar Road, and another at Lower Parel - Mahim - Santacruz, so on and so forth..
3. Two a/c compartments in two morning fasts which leave at a gap of a half hour, or keep compartments in the long distance trains that arrive in the morning for local passengers.

And as far as just looks go, the new trains are nice. The silver interiors make it look more spacious. Green is just such an eye-sore!

BMC. Take a bow!

It is so spectacular! One downpour and the city is knee deep in water. Swimming pools all around, and people wading their way through. It is seriously commendable how the BMC manages to maintain such efficiency year after year. Their performance should be lauded.

Infact, I feel the Beijing Olympics committee would've done such a great thing if they'd given the job of upkeep and maintenance of the swimming pools for the Olympics to BMC. Their unparalleled expertise would've gone a long way in doing a dual job of water conservation and maintenance of the pools. Alternatively, their community service can also go a long way in training our budding swimmers, and getting back home more than one Olympic medal.

Don't know what to name this, but

The drawback of any automated process is the fact that it has little manual control, and the shortcoming of any manual process is that the people who facilitate it are, at the end of the day, human.

What drives you?

A want to live your dreams? A passion? A fire within? An aim? A wish to do something? A need to prove to somebody? To prove to yourself? An ideology? A thought? Power? A song? A decision? Fear? Love? Hatred? A bit of madness? A memory? A role model? A quest? Need for independence?

What drives you? What keeps you going? What makes you look forward to each new day in your lives?

Have you ever given it a thought?

Rafa-FedEx

Theres something about Wimbledon, and the center court there. It brings out the best in everybody.

And the best was what it bought out in Nadal on 06-07-08. I mean it was in all probability the best Wimbledon final ever! From the first serve, the first game. It was the finesse and purist class of Roger Federer versus the sheer godly resilience of Rafa'el Nadal.

The first half belonged to Rafa. That guy could reach just every ball. Baseline or net, drop shot or smash, cross court or to body. It was unimaginable that Rafa was doing it. And it was in despair that all Federer fans saw him going down from 4-1 in the second set to 4-6! I was in sheer disbelief! I just couldn't fathom why Federer was coming SO much to the net. I mean why. on. earth does he change his game for Nadal. He becomes Roger FedError against Nadal (ya. ok. that was real bad :p) It baffles me. I saw it happen during Roland Garros, and again on center court. Like Vijay Amritraj said ''Its almost as if Federer has an inferiority complex against Nadal"

The third set came. I was on the verge of heartbreak. Nadal was on his way to showing he had comprehensively conquered Federers kingdom. But true champions are, and will always remain true champions. What a comeback it was from Federer. It takes Federer class. Nadal was still all guns blazing. But Federer somewhat found his own. He came back. Won the third. The fourth set tie-break was unnerving. Federer went to 1-6. I shut the TV. couldnt take it. Switched it back on. Federer was 4-6. I stuck. He took it. I started breathing again.

Cometh the final set. No one was giving an inch. The match became a fight for millimeters. Literally! Nadal-Federer. Federer-Nadal. It was a match between equals. The board at one point read. 4-6 4-6 7-6 7-6 6-6 (40-40). Seriously? It was not even funny. Both were feeding of each others unforced. Not giving an inch themselves. Each game went into break points. 6-7 7-7 7-8 8-8 . Nadal broke. I knew he had taken it. It was just about who would blink first. It would be impossible to de-break.

Rafael Nadal won. He became Wimbledon Champion 2008. FedEx was dethroned. But he went down fighting. And thats what it is all about. It was a match of the champions. It reminded me of Ivanisevic-Rafter 2001. That one had me elated. Almost in love. This one had me shattered. But in the end, it was classic tennis. Man to man. And thats what sports is all about! Welcome Nadal, Welcome to the House of Champions. As an afterthought, Federer will be back. He'll defeat Nadal next year. Not just at Center court, but also Roland Garros. And on that thought, I end this post. Cheers to Federer. The greatest of all time!